Wednesday, 4 November 2015

Life is Funny like that

How the wheels of my life have turned. I look back 2 years and I hardly recognize the person in those photographs (she is so skinny). Her life was so different, she was strong in such different ways to me now.

This girl does still enjoy cooking, family and the outdoors. Although the way she enjoys them now is vastly different. I now cook with lots of butter, cream and have been know to now even add fruit and nuts into savoury dishes. Who would have thought an old dog like me could master so many new tricks!

Another change is the addition of 2 family members, Roxy and Dude and from tonight we'll have Jack too. Becoming a pack leader and doggie Mom has changed me into that person everyone laughs at in the office.  I run my life around these dogs (don't tell them I called them dogs, they think they are humans!).

So this is some of how I have changed and become a different person. I am happy. It is a different happy than before, and don't read "sad happy" into that. I am truly blessed and my heart is overflowing, but I am different - I feel things differently now.

There is a large piece of my naivety that has been lost. I have learned very hard lessons, very quickly. I know about pain, loss and being alone, I had never experienced that before. This is not a bad thing, it is a different thing and has made me different. I look at things differently and live very differently.

I embrace life a lot quicker than before. I take opportunities quicker, live on the edge and take more risks. I am aware with every decision that life is just far too short. You don't get a second chance and you never know when it's going to be "Just too late".

 I don't judge those who are different, although I do keep reminding them not to wait too long to enjoy things, because they might wait too long.

I had to take this time to share with you where I am. I don't want to be labeled as brave or strong - I was forced into an unthinkable situation and have survived.
How well have I survived? I am guessing it is too early to tell, but I am happy and for a long time I didn't think I could be really happy again.  

Thank you to everyone who has shared this journey with me. Thank you for judging me, for supporting me and loving me. Everyone of you have helped me become who I am and I hope you'll continue to do it for a very long time to come.

The biggest thing is the incredible man that I have in my life. I have embraced this happy with both hands, my life is good and am moving forward on a new adventure shortly which will bring more into my life than I could have dreamed possible.

Jeremiah 17: 7-8

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water."

It is not your business to succeed, but to do what is right : when you have done so, the rest lies with God.
C.S. Lewis

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