Flip Flops

My kitchen confidence is currently at an all time low. This last week it seems that everything I try to make ends with "Flip, another Flop"!

I have been so inspired by all the wonderful things I have been seeing on other blogs but it seems that everything I try comes out terrible. I have had dreams about posting pictures and recipes of the most delicious things, but I can't give you one recipe in fear of spreading this failure virus across the whole world wide web.

I will however, in the spirit of transparency, show you the pictures of the chocolate oat crunchies which taste great, but have been re-named "crumblies". You can only eat them outside on a ground sheet because they are so messy. And then I have a raisin bread that had to be registered with the Department of Defence as a deadly weapon. It was so dense and hard that if you threw it at someone they would end up in hospital, and no I didn't try throwing it at anyone.

I am not going to give up, and I trust that you will laud my bravery in showing you my failures and remember that "failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success".

Disclaimer : Do not try this at home, and if you do, only under strict adult supervision.

Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits

Stirring it up

When I don't have much time to cook there are 2 things which always come to mind : Pasta or Stir Fry. They don't require much thought, you can usually use whatever you have on hand (or at least in the fridge) and depending on the sauce they can taste different every time.

I had a wonderful collection of bright multi-coloured vegetables in my fridge and they were screaming "Stir Fry Me", and as I always have a pack of frozen prawns somewhere in the freezer, I knew this was going to be very easy.I am not going to tell you what to add to your stir-fry, this is something which is dictated by what you have, what you can buy and what you can afford. I am however going to share the sauce which a made, and to my delight it was very good.

Stir-Fry Sauce

1 28g Packet Knorr Teriyaki Marinade
20ml Cornflour
250ml of cold water

Mix together until there are no lumps.
Add the mix to the stir-fried vegetables once they are half way cooked.
Makes a delicious thick sauce, slightly sweet, slightly salty.

I Dream a World

I dream a world where man
No other man will scorn,
Where love will bless the earth
And peace its paths adorn.
I dream a world where all
Will know sweet freedom's way,
Where greed no longer saps the soul
Nor avarice blights our day.
A world I dream where black or white,
Whatever race you be,
Will share the bounties of the earth
And every man is free,
Where wretchedness will hang its head
And joy, like a pearl,
Attends the needs of all mankind--
Of such I dream, my world!

From The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes, edited by Arnold Rampersad (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1994), p. 311.

Fine Food for Friends

I love to entertain. But I hate to be stuck in the kitchen with preparation when everyone else is sitting around a chatting. I also don't like to be in the kitchen and have my guests standing there wanting to help. I want to have everything done and then just plate up and call people to a beautifully set table with all the food ready and looking great.

The following meal is so easy to prepare, and can sit for a few minutes while you enjoy your party and then you can just plate up and be ready to eat.

Vegetable Risotto and Grilled Salmon

The ingredients for the risotto are:
2 cups Risotto
1 onion
1 1/2 cups julienne of zucchini
1 red chili and 1 orange chili (these were the large one that have lots of flavour and very little heat)
1.5 litres hot vegetable stock

Fry the onion and the chili until soft but not brown.
Add the rice and fry for a minute, until coated in oil.
Start adding the hot stock a spoon at a time. Only once all the liquid is absorbed must you add another spoon of liquid.
Continue to go this until the rice is 5 minutes from done. You will need to do a taste check for
"al dente" before you serve.
Turn off the heat, put the lid on, with a little liquid and let it stand until you are 2 minutes away from serving.
Once you are ready to serve, turn on the heat and stir in the zucchini and add a little water if you need to.
You can add parmigiana cheese, but that is your choice, I didn't.
Check the seasoning - salt and black pepper.

I simply grilled my salmon fillet.
I caramelise the presentation side and then pop in it into the oven.
Some people like there salmon medium rare, but again this is very personal.

The fish takes about 12 minutes from start to finish, and because you finish it in the oven, it is great to put it in and then set the timer and go have a little drink and return just in time to serve.

To plate up, I first put down a whole leaf of Swiss chard which I had lightly steamed in the left over stock from the risotto.
Place a spoon of risotto on top of that and top off with your fillet of salmon.

Once again this is very simple and if you take a little extra time on the presentation, you are really set to impress.

A smile is the lighting system of the face,
the cooling system of the head and
the heating system of the heart.

Copy and Paste

I have never done this before, but after reading this article I thought I have to share it with you. So alas I have fallen into blog hell and done the "Copy and Paste" thing.

Fish bites man
Chris Roper

It's time someone asked the question; what is the point of sushi? I found myself in Cape Town's Veronica & Archie Waterfront, that delightful architectural homage to all things comic, staring at a plate of salmon and tuna, and it came to me - now is the time to ask.

Salmon. "Norwegian" salmon. What is that, anyway? It's flash-frozen, farmed salmon that's basically like Rainbow battery chicken, except with less of a fish taste. I think they can call any salmon "Norwegian" if it's farmed by a man wearing a beanie.

And tuna. Sigh. It's Japanese leftover tuna - somebody collects all the bits that Japanese people spit out, force moulds it, and recycles it in Cape Town restaurants. How many times do you ever see fatty tuna on a menu?

Sure, once every six months a Japanese restaurateur dips some leftover tuna into some lard, doubles the price, and then doubles over with laughter as some unsuspecting customer oohs and ahs over his oily little purchase.

No, we all know that all fatty tuna goes straight into that hellhole of fish consumption called Japan, the country that used to be known as Nippon, but is now called Gulpon. What we don't know is that all tuna in general goes there, and what we get is compressed capenta dyed red. Mock sushi, if you will.

And by the way, let's all say sayonara to the scalloped hammerhead shark, which has declined 99% over the past 30 years in some parts of the world, and eight other sharks that are about to be added to the endangered species list.

Bad, bad, bad

It's not that sushi restaurants are bad - it's that sushi is bad. Take Willoughby's, for example. They've redecorated the place, spent millions it looks like. It's a fantastic looking Japanese restaurant, and if you eat their cooked food, they do a great job. But the point of a sushi restaurant is sushi, and that, you can't get. Well, you can get the mock sushi, but there's never any local fish, any yellowtail or red roman, or kabeljou, or even a bladdy deboned sardine.

It's not just Willoughby's, I don't want to pick on them, and in fact I urge you to eat their spider crab rolls wrapped in soybean paper. I could gobble those critters like popcorn, they're so good. But go to any sushi restaurant, and nine times out of 10, all they'll have is mock sushi.

Okay, maybe it's the fault of South Africans. I know people who claim to love sushi, and when you end up in a restaurant with them, it turns out they don't actually eat fish. Please, people, if you don't eat fish, don't eat sushi. Eat mock sushi instead, like "Norwegian" salmon.

Maybe South Africans think that tuna and farmed salmon is what sushi should be. Yum. Just add some Spur secret sauce, and you have a meal fit for a ding. (Note to editor: I do know how to spell king. So don't touch that word.)

Ding dong

Dings are people who imagine they've cottoned on to a cuisine - a little bell goes off in their head. "Ding! Prawns fried to a pulp and covered in butter! I LOVE PRAWNS!" No, you don't love prawns, you love butter. Or margarine, actually, depending on the restaurant.

Why can't our sushi restaurants serve decent fish? Well, obviously, the main reason is that there aren't any fish left. But leaving that aside for the moment (and modern man and woman have a wonderful capacity to leave environmental disaster aside for the moment), why can't they buy the odd local fish from those klippies-crazed fishermen I keep seeing landing their wares?

I suspect it's because they're too lazy. If dumb ol' South Africans want their mock sushi, why waste your energy on those few clients who foolishly believe that fish should contain at least a hint of fish.

Incredibly, as I write this, Heidi, one of the women working at Visi, has just shouted across from their offices to ask why I'm working so late. I'm writing a column about how horrible sushi is, I tell her.

"Oh, except at Willoughby's," she says. "The salmon roses there are divine." Tsk, Heidi. And you work for South Africa's top design magazine. You've let me down.

Thanks to Chris for this great article. I just wonder if people around the world (except Japan) have the same problem?

Chocoholics Anonymous

I have said on many occasions that I have the most wonderful husband (sorry girls he's mine). He is the undoubted chairman, treasurer and life-long member of my fan club. It still amazes me that he will tell strangers about the food I make. The amazing thing is that he will actually talk about food, as he is not the kind of person you would ever imagine talking about foodie things.

Last week he came home and told me that he had an order for me from someone he had told that I make the most divine chocolate cake, carrot cake and mint-choc chip ice-cream. They promptly placed an order for all three!!!

I have already shown how to make my chocolate cake, so that needs no further explanation, but I would like to share with you what I did do with the "off-cuts" from the cake.

Chocolate Cake and Mousse desserts
Makes 4

Chocolate cake (I used the top piece that I cut off the cake to make it level before frosting)

Chocolate mousse

• 1/2 Tablespoon unflavoured gelatin
• 1 tablespoon cold water
• 1 Tablespoons boiling water
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup Cocoa
  
• 1 cup cold whipping cream
• 1/4 teaspoon chocolate extract

Sprinkle gelatin over cold water in small bowl; let stand 1 minute to soften. Add boiling water; stir until gelatin is completely dissolved and mixture is clear. Cool slightly.

2. Stir together sugar and cocoa in medium bowl; add whipping cream and chocolate extract. Beat on medium speed of electric mixer, scraping bottom of bowl occasionally, until mixture is stiff. Pour in gelatin mixture; beat until well blended.

Use ramekins which have been sprayed with non-stick spray, or line them with plastic wrap.
Place a layer of chocolate cake on the bottom of the dish, do not leave any spaces.
Top with the mousse and then put a lid on with more of your cake.
Cover with plastic wrap and leave to set in the fridge for a few hours. I did this the night before and served it the following day.

I have un-moulded mine and placed it on a pool of cream and then topped with a little more cream and sprinkled some finely chopped orange intense dark chocolate on top.... DELISH!

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.